rêves d'une âme perdue: inclined confusion

1. Regardless of the situation, I always find myself in a position where I don't like what I'm doing. I would always, most definitely, prefer to be somewhere else.

Examples?

Sometimes, when I'm at school, I miss my family and I wish I were at home with them. And when I get to go home and an argument ensues, etc, I just want to go back.

Small things like that. These situations and scenarios pile up over time. People are prone to oversights in estimating their emotional states in future/potential situations. It sucks, yes, really does, but it happens a lot. People aren't that great at predicting their own emotions. It's a fact I learned from my psychology class. (I swear, I learned a lot, even though some things may suggest otherwise.. :X)

I may have reached a point where I'm so used to it, I just tune out of my environment. I figured that out earlier when I attempted to watch the television with zero sound, and ignored the conversations and people around me. If I don't want to be somewhere and I'm physically stuck there, I will let my mind wander elsewhere. Sometimes, I don't mind being there. But I have better ways to spend my time.  I can waste away MYSELF!


2. I hate wasting away.


Especially on someone else's terms. I can just chill around myself juuust fine and kill the same amount of time. More productively, I would hope so. And if I'm wasting away with company, at least make me feel like I'm at leeeast wanted. That's not too much to ask for, right?


3. I hate it when people think pouting and sulking will magically solve their problems.

The world would be a much better place if such actions solved everything and anything. Sure, it sucks to be in a shitty situation. Doing those things may relieve some feelings.

Instead of pulling those facial muscles to frown and lower eyebrows, how about some negation of blood to the brain for EXTRA thinking power to help with one's logic and reason through a situation. Or just open the mouth, activate some vocal cords, and frickin talk it out, instead of looking like a mute child, unable to express any form of thought.

4. I hate it when people think their interpretation of a problem correctly identifies the real underlying issue, when it fact, it does not.

Brain skills, please? And try to figure it out, instead of skipping off happily or carefreely back into blahblah land.

5. I hate being angry, grumpy, irritable, and annoyed ALL THE DAMN TIME BECAUSE OF STUPID SHIT! >:[

6. I hate attachments of any sort.

7. I hate how much of a wuss Poi Poi has been to other dogs -__-

8. I hate it when there is no response given to a message.

9. I hate being angry all the time. AGAIN.

10. I hate how I'm not sleeping.

So late, and I have to wake up early for the Lego convention. DAMN MOLD in bf's car because water spilled out from a container I got from Woot -____- allergies been killing me. AHHH

Dear World,

I will never understand your fascination with apocalyptic stories or films. In the midsts of watching Battle: LA, I had one request in mind: Staff Sergent, please hand me a gun so I take myself out. No more, please. Enough.

We’ve all seen it before: movies depicting horrific alien invaders attempting to colonize Earth, blasting the crap out of any human in sight. There’s the scruffy military guys and gals, clad in camouflage with guns and amo strapped to every inch of their worn out arms, legs, thighs, waists, whatever. With sweat on their brow some cower in fear as they are cornered by this unknown enemy, while others become heroes, rescuing civilians, all of them trying to overcome the odds to survive.

Seriously, if some large alien invaders had guns coming out of their arms, paired with endless bullets and dead-on shooting accuracy, they would have zero trouble killing a lone soldier.

Consider the cast of characters. These movies usually focus on a solitary, usually emotionless main character, trying to find redemption or forgiveness for a past event. More than often, they're trying to establish a new identity, with motivation stemmed from a disturbing past. They just want to make things right. For Battle: LA, we have Aaron Eckhart’s character, who was rumored to have left his men for dead during some previous military mission. He defies our expectations to lead a new crew through the alien bitch attack, and miraculously, most of them survive, ignore the hot showers and deliciously warm breakfasts, only to immediately restock their weaponry and rush out to pwn some more alien n00bz. Flyyy those copters. "LETZ TAKE BACK LA! YEEE" WHOOP WHOOP!

PLEASE. The storyline offered little resolution to calm and satisfy this audience member. Sure, they found a way to take out the enemy, but can they really chase them away? Is there REALLY hope for mankind? I want answers, not more questions. It was obvious from the beginning and previews how the typical storyline expectation of the human race surviving and being victorious would be the format of the movie. There was the coursework of building action and anticipation, along with the attempt to establish a sympathetic connection to the civillians and soliders, deaths, etc. The ultimate letdown of the conclusion made me want to toss the popcorn in the air and scream, “WHAT THE FUCK!?”

I felt cheated.

I have deviated from the topic. Back to the main point, these movies are formulaic. They follow a specific format. It's a fucking template with specific rules, like how children can't ever die, even when dead bodies are flying all over the place. My point is that people are fascinated by this end of the world bullshit because they want an escape from their lives. Believing that things can suddenly end brings them peace. Maybe they won't have to do the whole 9-5 job thing anymore. Instead, they can run around a wrecked city in a chaotic frenzy with lasers being shot at their butts. Throw your hands up in the airrr! It's a PARTAAAYY! Much better, right? Or knowing that their shitty problems can disappear in an instant. No more debts. Banks, SUCK IT! New start, to the max!!!

It's a fascination with the primitive instinct to act and survive. To have the adrenaline rush while sitting on the couch, munching on salty, buttery popcorn. It's the childish fantasy to be part of the badass group with guns, grenades, and rifles, with missels launching in every direction. It's knowing the world won't really end, but you can get worked up over it while thinking it might.

I'll talk about 2012 predictions another day.