08 May 2011
In accordance to the annual strawberry cheesecake tradition for my mother on her birthday, I decided to attempt mini-cheesecakes for Mother's Day. I figured a homemade gift would be more thoughtful and that it would go along nicely with flowers. This was my second cheesecake attempt, with the first being the large New York style cheesecake I made for my boyfriend upon his return from Japan. It didn't crack, thank goodness. Still, I was nervous for these cakes. I want to impress my mother and the family.
With twelve total in the batch, I portioned the ingredients to half of everything in the recipe found online (the same one I used the first time). This batch was baked for 20 minutes. The comments from various sites and blogs were very helpful. I added a bit of cinnamon into the graham cracker crust. It is recommended that vanilla waffers be used as the crust of mini-cheesecakes because it has a better texture. I may try that next time, and I'm tempted to make cheesecakes with Oreos, too :]
Butter the tin before pouring in the batter and crust. This helps with the cracks. Always remember a water bath to keep the cake moist. And this tip is to be suuper safe with the cracked cakes: use a warmed/buttered knife to separate the cake from the sides of the tin. The buttered sides should already help, but just in case the batter sticks to the sides, it may cause the cake to separate and crack while cooling.
01 May 2011
I live with walls around me and I feel exposed without them. Opened doors bring me discomfort. I like my bubble, with the windows open for air. The application to this preference to my personality is hardly profound. I'm defensive, I'm stubborn, and I'm skeptical about too many things. I do not trust. So, is it really difficult to grasp why I'm so upset over a small lie?
28 April 2011
...remember to get rid of the evidence. Seriously.
15 April 2011
I went to bed last night with my lecture podcast still playing. Dr. Bautista had expressed his disclaimer for the class for students to take the facts and gather their own conclusions on the drugs, and had moved on to differentiating between drug use and drug abuse. The cough and allergy medicine had started to kick in around 1:30 AM. I figured I might as well make an attempt to study a bit more while I was falling asleep. A collective of ideas for my paper topic were still swarming in my head.
I love their songs. And I especially love their lyrics. After battling through the complexity of literary characters from the mentioned stories and trying to conversate with them about drug use in French, I felt an odd sense of relief. For a moment, I felt like I was back in high school years, listening to the songs on my MP3 player while laying in bed. I felt at peace. Undisturbed. I was back at home, with my mom most likely preparing food and my dad reading a book, or watching PBS. I felt secure again. I felt safe. I couldn't wait to eat dinner with my family.
The pangs from realizing the feeling was all nostalgia brought me back to the present. I fell asleep again to thoughts of my classes. More verbs, more symbolism and imagery to refine into a paper argument, and more about drugs to learn.
It's a difficult thing to do, beyond what is familiar and secure. My temporary moment of relief was nice. I liked it. But I don't think I should get caught up in it again for a long time.
14 April 2011
I just finished the Awakening for my ENL seminar class. This is the second time I have read the novel, with the first time being the summer of my junior year for AP Lit. The same impressions from the first reading remain with me, although I did find myself more intrigued the second time around.
Okay, so the story is about this discontented woman from Kentucky who lives among the Creoles in New Orleans. She's not very fond of her husband, she's not really a mother-woman, and she comes to the realization that she has desires, etc. She falls for this gentleman while on vacation with her family. Because he's such a gentleman, he runs off to Mexico to resist his desire. She's devastated (uhm, she's married??). She attempts to attain a sense of freedom from her social expectations and her mother-woman/wife duties to work on her art. She asserts her freedom when her husband goes to New York for business. And after a while, she eventually has a relationship with a really shady guy (everyyone knows it!), all-the-while thinking about the one who ran to Mexico. She's the unconventional woman of the time.
I dislike her. She's annoyingly selfish. A few of the characters call her actions childish because she never gives time to reflect on her choices. She's impulsive. I'm all for empowering women's choice and being selfish for one's own desires, I really do. I hate being confined.
What Edna represents repulses me because she gives so little thought to her actions. She's walking around like a drama queen. Oh, and the fact that she comes to the realization that there is more to the world around her, at age 26, baffles the hell outta me.
I sympathize with her cause and her confusion through all her troubles. I get that she's unhappy. I understand that she wants to be her own woman. I know she just wants true love. But the fact that she drowns herself at the end of the novel after her long-awaited awakening makes me think that her whole journey was insignificant and pointless.
If she can't live with the choices she's made, then she's weak. Mademoiselle Reisz was right. Only birds with strong wings have the courage to make self-sacrificing choices. Edna Pontellier deludes herself with the idea and causes her own demise. She just dies -__-
Dumbest female character to grace the pages of literature. Although, I retract my statement for a moment to say this: Edna Pontellier is the dumbest female character to grace the pages of early 19th century literature. For modern novels, the protagonist from Memoirs of a Geisha is pretty damn stupid.
She would have been heroic if she didn't off herself -____-
26 March 2011
1. Regardless of the situation, I always find myself in a position where I don't like what I'm doing. I would always, most definitely, prefer to be somewhere else.
Examples?
Sometimes, when I'm at school, I miss my family and I wish I were at home with them. And when I get to go home and an argument ensues, etc, I just want to go back.
Small things like that. These situations and scenarios pile up over time. People are prone to oversights in estimating their emotional states in future/potential situations. It sucks, yes, really does, but it happens a lot. People aren't that great at predicting their own emotions. It's a fact I learned from my psychology class. (I swear, I learned a lot, even though some things may suggest otherwise.. :X)
I may have reached a point where I'm so used to it, I just tune out of my environment. I figured that out earlier when I attempted to watch the television with zero sound, and ignored the conversations and people around me. If I don't want to be somewhere and I'm physically stuck there, I will let my mind wander elsewhere. Sometimes, I don't mind being there. But I have better ways to spend my time. I can waste away MYSELF!
2. I hate wasting away.
Especially on someone else's terms. I can just chill around myself juuust fine and kill the same amount of time. More productively, I would hope so. And if I'm wasting away with company, at least make me feel like I'm at leeeast wanted. That's not too much to ask for, right?
3. I hate it when people think pouting and sulking will magically solve their problems.
The world would be a much better place if such actions solved everything and anything. Sure, it sucks to be in a shitty situation. Doing those things may relieve some feelings.
Instead of pulling those facial muscles to frown and lower eyebrows, how about some negation of blood to the brain for EXTRA thinking power to help with one's logic and reason through a situation. Or just open the mouth, activate some vocal cords, and frickin talk it out, instead of looking like a mute child, unable to express any form of thought.
4. I hate it when people think their interpretation of a problem correctly identifies the real underlying issue, when it fact, it does not.
Brain skills, please? And try to figure it out, instead of skipping off happily or carefreely back into blahblah land.
5. I hate being angry, grumpy, irritable, and annoyed ALL THE DAMN TIME BECAUSE OF STUPID SHIT! >:[
6. I hate attachments of any sort.
7. I hate how much of a wuss Poi Poi has been to other dogs -__-
8. I hate it when there is no response given to a message.
9. I hate being angry all the time. AGAIN.
10. I hate how I'm not sleeping.
So late, and I have to wake up early for the Lego convention. DAMN MOLD in bf's car because water spilled out from a container I got from Woot -____- allergies been killing me. AHHH
18 March 2011
- Poi Poi bringing me her leash <3 !!
- bf getting me food at 4 AM, taking care of me through finals
- bf hanging out with me at Borders while I studied
- bf and Poi Poi at Meyer with me while I crammed for BIS
- walking out of BIS to see bf and Poi Poi waiting for me :]]
- visits from friends. C visited today!! A and A did, too!
- Burgers & Brew with housemates. And Shoki Ramen