rêves d'une âme perdue: inclined confusion

Updates have been seldom on this blog, but all for good reason. I was spending more time with the boyfriend before he had to leave for vet school.

I just feel a loss for words right now. Instead, tears and pangs of sadness are my familiarities. My attempt at productivity today was found in unpacking, doing laundry, and cleaning my room. Cleaning the room made me even more upset. It's weird to know that he won't be around to throw his socks around anymore, or any of those little things he did that gave me minor frustrations after cleaning. It's sad, but I got teary and sad yesterday evening when we were brushing our teeth after dinner when I thought of how we won't be able to brush together anymore. He just laughed at me, with his toothbrush still in his mouth, and tried to hug me while I was still brushing and crying :[

I need to get used to how things were before everything. It's just a lot harder than it should be right now. And I feel bad because things will be much more difficult for him because he's in a new place by himself. I don't want to be so upset around him when we do get to talk, so.. must try harder :[